Sex and the City: Most women like it, and most men hate it. Needless to say, the show is a focal point of gender conflict, and with the recent release of the show’s full sixth season on DVD, Sex and the City is more popular than ever.
THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
Women watch Sex and the City for its elements of female empowerment. They see four middle-aged, career-driven women living their lives independently. They are strong, self-sufficient, and in control of their own sexuality. In this male-dominated, 75-cents-to-my-dollar type of world we live in, women like to see the opposite, feministic view. It’s a gender-equal, Susan B. breath of fresh air.
In reality, it’s widely understood that men treat women frivolously. Men often navigate the waters of their sexuality as freely and as often as they watch football. Some put no more thought into their current “partner” of the night than they do maintaining their personal hygiene regimen. And if women choose to live their lives this way, they shouldn’t be judged anymore than men are for similar behavior. There shouldn’t be a double standard. I agree.
THE MALE PERSPECTIVE
Sex and the City’s intention is dead-on. Society really does need a strong movement toward gender equality, but the show’s execution misses the mark.
Its emphasis on materialism is ridiculous. Any person who validates a show’s artistic prowess based on a plot involving the endless search for the perfect strappy-backed dress and matching pashmina has no sense of “art.” Clinging to materialism as a staple theme furthers the female stereotype that the show tries so hard to stray from.
Now let’s focus on the “sex” part. Women spend the better part of their feminist efforts belying the idea that sexual frivolousness is OK. They look down on men for the way they treat women, and rightly so. But the Sex and the City characters demonstrate similar, debauched behavior. The show undermines the exact point it tries to convey - not to mention teaching pre-teen girls that having promiscuous sex with dozens of people without emotion is a good thing.
When making this argument to fans of the show, I usually get a response to the effect of, “It’s not that women should act like this, but it should be OK if they choose to.” Sex and the City fans are so focused on gender equality that the immorality evades them. Because most serial killers are men, should there be a show about four, free-spirited female serial killers to prove that if women want to murder, they could do it just as successfully as men? Of course not. Men would bash “Serial and the City” for the same reason we look down on Sex and the City: not because it depicts gender equality - men should fully support that - but because it would idealize murder. Sexual promiscuity and murder are far from comparable, of course, but the same reasoning applies.
A little shock value is needed here and there to make a point, but not if it undermines the point itself. Showing that a woman can make poor sexual choices just as well as a man can is not a laudable point of gender liberation.
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