Humor me. Keep that question in the back of your mind as I talk about the elephant in the room at this month’s presentation of The Vagina Monologues.

Turns out, the elephant has a lot to do with how you answer this question. What struck me most at the end of the day was not what the play says about sexual violence, but what it takes for granted about sex in general. I noticed how you, my fellow students, responded to these assumptions. I noticed what you questioned, but, most of all, what you didn’t.

In her introduction, Heather Hathaway, associate dean of academic affairs in the college of arts and sciences, listed a number of concerns about the play. None of them were based on its view of sex. She didn’t mention that none of the relationships in The Vagina Monologues are depicted as lasting or lifelong or that the play takes it for granted that we’ve all had sex, from an early age, and that we all masturbate frequently.

In fact, it relies on our familiarity with these actions for much of its humor and popular appeal. Nobody asked why none of the sexual encounters claim to be in the context of “true love.” Bob stares at the woman’s vagina meaningfully for hours, but he’s just the guy she met at the grocery store and promptly slept with. The 24-year-old woman seduces the 16-year-old girl, but that was a long time ago.

Apparently, our concept of sex has lost its relationship to, well, relationships – especially committed lifelong relationships. It’s now a recreational pursuit, solely dedicated to finding maximum pleasure, having fun and responding to the ultimatum of the sexual urge. And maybe that doesn’t bother you and Hathaway, but it sure concerns me.

Doesn’t sex belong in the context of true love, not just satisfying some urge? Pope John Paul II was not the first to affirm that it is never acceptable to use another human being as a means to an end. Rather, all expressions of affection should show a disinterested desire to affirm the other person (made in the image and likeness of God) for their own sake. Christians believe sex is meant to show us God’s love. It’s meant to be a participation in the love of God and Jesus, a love so great it becomes another person (the Holy Spirit). This love is identified as a free, total, faithful and fruitful self-gift. When one of these attributes is missing, the whole thing collapses. In human terms, this true love finds its fulfillment in marriage.

Let’s compare this with what we find in The Vagina Monologues. Casual, promiscuous sex? Not total and not faithful: You’re using someone for your own selfish kicks and moving on. Masturbation? Not a gift of self to another person: You’re using a human being (yourself) as a means to an end. Contraception and homosexual sex? Are they really total gifts of self? Are they really fruitful, open to new life? The Church asks us not to do these things, not because the body and sex are bad but because they mean something too good, too significant to water down.

I think it’s important for you to understand the logic behind that stance even if, like one of those Saturday panelists, you flat-out disagree with it. If you’d like to compare these issues more, I’d recommend that you Google Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body and get Christopher West’s Good News About Sex and Marriage from our library.

The Christian view of sexuality demands self-denial, maturity and generosity. It promises freedom, fulfillment and lasting happiness: nothing short of heaven on earth. It affirms the beauty of sex and the body. Personally, that’s a lot more appealing than the prospect of getting my heart broken, engaging in meaningless sexual encounters, getting STDs and ending up alone and unloved.

I’d rather love one person forever, for who they really are. I’d rather love as God loves, even if it means making sacrifices, laying down my life for my beloved. I’d rather stay open to nurturing new life and hope in every form, even when it hurts.

I’d rather believe… and live… in true love.

Submitted by Margaret Smith, junior in the College of Arts and Sciences

Popularity: 13% [?]

Marquette University’s Center for Health Education and Promotion held its annual Sexual Violence Awareness Week last week. The theme was “Steps Towards Change,” and included events, workshops and speakers to raise awareness and promote education for sexual violence prevention and awareness.

The week began on Sunday with the “Be Part of the Picture” kick-off event.

“[The event was designed to] raise awareness and education about the issues by attempting to create the world’s largest human awareness ribbon,” said Amy Melichar, coordinator for health education and promotion on campus. “Guinness World Records has been contacted for documentation of the human ribbon.”

Melichar also stressed the resources available on campus.

“[These are helpful] for students to get the help and support they need,” Said Melichar.

One of these organizations, HAVEN, or Helping Abuse and Violence End Now, is designed to help anyone affected by sexual violence, stalking or relationship violence to create a safe and caring community on campus.

She also addressed recent reports of increased cases of sexual violence on campus.

“The increase may be because of improved educational efforts on campus, causing more people to come forward for help,” Said Melichar.

The kick-off event also included speakers to address the issue of sexual violence.

“Sexual violence is a people’s issue,” said Dr. Amelia Zurcher, professor in the English Department. “We need to help create a culture where everyone can be free.”

Zurcher also noted that 25 percent of women and eight percent of men have been assaulted or raped, and that women between the ages of 16 and 24 are four times more likely than any other age group to be assaulted. Additionally, 42 percent of victims will not tell anybody about their assault during the first year after the incident.

Another speaker, Jerry Fischer, the associate director of University Ministry, stressed the importance “that men became aware that it is also a men’s issue.” He added that “the subtle abuse which happens everyday sets a negative climate which is not the way God planned it.”

The week also included the O’Donnell Hall 72-hour Teeter-Totter Marathon that helped to raise funds and awareness about sexual violence.

“There must be a day and age where woman are treated differently,” said Ryan Grusenski, a resident assistant at O’Donnell Hall. “That day and age is now.” Grusenski also added that he “hopes that men can realize the role they play and be aware of the language they use and how woman are treated.” Grusenski also stressed that the work for the event was mostly done by residents.

The marathon lasted 72 hours straight, from Sept. 17 to Sept. 20, regardless of the time of day or the weather conditions. Over 125 O’Donnell Hall residences rode the Teeter-Totter, in addition to sending out letters raise additional funds. All proceeds from the marathon are being donated to the Task Force on Family Violence, an organization that provides support and services to people with problems related to domestic abuse. Last year, over $3,000 was raised for the Sexual Abuse Treatment Center of Milwaukee.

The Teeter-Totter Marathon is in its fourth year and was started by former O’Donnell Hall Director John Merchant. The week also featured a speech by Teri Jendusa Nicolai, who shared a story about how she was beaten with a baseball bat by her ex-husband and left for dead. Other events included informational sessions on human rights and social justice, True Life: I Have Been Sexually Assaulted, a candlelight vigil and a self-defense workshop.

Popularity: 6% [?]